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Late Edition

Topic

Life & Wisdom

Age, time and lessons nobody asked for, delivered kindly.

65 jokes

I’ve only been wrong once, and that’s when I thought I was wrong.

Streak Officially Intact

Mar 1, 2026

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.

Mouth Closed Policy

Feb 24, 2026

When nothing goes right, go left.

Plan B Has a Door

Feb 15, 2026

It’s been a long week. - Me, in the middle of Tuesday.

Halfway to Nowhere

Feb 14, 2026

I’m not arguing, I’m just telling you why you are wrong.

Tone of Voice

Feb 8, 2026

I always feel relieved when my doctor says something is normal for my age. But then I remember that someday dying will also be normal for my age.

The Fine Print

Feb 3, 2026

If I’m a nobody, and nobody is perfect, does that mean I’m perfect?

Airtight Logic

Feb 2, 2026

You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white.

Birthday Card Material

Jan 31, 2026

Lost your keys? Why not try looking in the same two places repeatedly whilst getting increasingly angrier.

Proven Search Method

Jan 29, 2026

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear it… is he still wrong?

Forest Etiquette

Jan 27, 2026

How to stay poor. I’ll start tomorrow.

The Mythical Monday

Jan 25, 2026

A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.

Sleeping Like a Saint

Jan 24, 2026

I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.

Already Bombed Tomorrow

Jan 22, 2026

You’re in excellent health. You’ll live to be 90. But, Doctor, I am 90! That’s it then…

Bedside Manner Needs Work

Jan 10, 2026

I can totally keep secrets. It’s the people I tell them to that can’t.

Vault With a Leak

Jan 6, 2026

Once you reach a venerable age… You just need 1 candle on your cake for one more year on Earth!

Fire Marshal Approved

Jan 4, 2026

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Settled by the Manager

Jan 3, 2026