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Late Edition

Topic

Love & Dating

Romance, as explained by a man in cargo shorts.

20 jokes

Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.

Aluminum Career Advice

Sep 28, 2026

Having teenagers is just paying for a bunch of dates that you don't get to go on.

The Teenager Budget

Sep 10, 2026

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Salad Has Enemies

Aug 19, 2026

I really love my spine. It's always so supportive.

Vertebral Loyalty

Aug 4, 2026

I heard you're good at algebra. Can you replace my X without asking Y?

Math Class Flashbacks

Jul 27, 2026

I love coffee. It's Red Bull for old people.

Mug Fueled Existence

Jul 17, 2026

Remember? Those were the days when you could download the Internet in a single CD!

Back When It Fit

Jun 9, 2026

I dated a zombie once. When we broke up, she fell apart.

Reanimated Romance

Jun 6, 2026

Green is my all-time favorite color. I love it even more than blue and yellow combined.

Color Wheel Loyalty

May 16, 2026

A plane crashed in the jungle and every single person died. Who survived? Married couples.

Lone Wolf Loses Again

Apr 20, 2026

Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend.

Cocky at the Bar

Apr 19, 2026

What kind of math do birds love? Owl-gebra.

Feathered Curriculum

Apr 15, 2026

Why do men like smart women? Opposites attract.

Courtship Study

Apr 5, 2026

I got lost in your eyes. But I also get lost in department stores, so I wouldn't read too much into it.

Smoothest Line I Got

Mar 29, 2026

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make when they fly by…

Right Past My Ear

Mar 28, 2026

A relationship with no trust is like having a phone with no service: You just play games.

Signal Lost, Drama Found

Mar 7, 2026

I just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome. It started out awful, but by the end I loved it.

Library Card Regrets

Feb 17, 2026

I love you just the way you are, but I do have a few suggestions.

With Light Edits

Feb 10, 2026

You're so pretty you could be in a beer commercial.

High Compliment Detected

Jan 2, 2026

If your partner asks, 'Do you love your phone more than you love me?' Lie!

Phone Versus Partner

Jan 1, 2026