Parenting Reality Check
Your kid may be a genius, but youβre still a dummy.
FamilyParentingGenius+1
BROWSE DAD JOKES
40 jokes in this category β enough to last a lifetime of car rides.
AllWordplaySarcasmRelationshipsFoodIronyPhilosophyLifeAnimalsTechnologyCommunicationMarriageMoneyMotivationDrinksSatireHealthWorkDark HumorLifestyleIntelligence
Weight Loss on Mars
Weigh 200 pounds on Earth? On Mars, you'd be a svelte 76 pounds. You're not fat, you're just on the wrong planet!
FitnessSpaceScience+1
Smart Blonde
What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.
DogsWordplayAnimals
Fungus Amungus
Ho! Look! Thereβs a fungus amungus!!
WordplayNatureSarcasm
Lion's Wings
What do an eagle and a lion have in common? They both have wings, except for the lion.
LionWordplayAnimals+1
Mud Wrestling Wisdom
Never wrestle with a pig: You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it.
FarmWordplayAnimals
Pill Paradox
I went to the doctor, and he said I'd need to take a pill every day for the rest of my life. But he only gave me 4 pills???
WordplayHealthLife+1
Love or Money?
Would you have married me if I didn't inherit a fortune from my father? Honey, I would have married you no matter who left you a fortune.
WordplayMarriageRelationships+1
Hardworking Hen
Why are chickens considered good employees? Because they work around the cluck.
AnimalsFarmWork+1
Fly in the Soup Dilemma
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! Impossible! We used them all in the raisin bread...
FoodInsectsWordplay
Dyslexic devil deal
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He accidentally sold his soul to Santa!
WordplayDyslexiaChristmas
A fungi-tastic friend
Iβm a fungi you can count on
WordplayNatureFriendship
Tomato Wisdom
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad!
FruitPhilosophyWordplay
Muffin Madness
Wow, itβs really hot in here! Whoa! A talking muffin?
CommunicationWordplayFood+1
Wife's Apology
My wife apologised to me the other day. She said she was sorry for ever marrying me.
MarriageRelationshipsWordplay+1
Spaghetti Car
My wife said I was nuts for building a car out of spaghetti... But you should've seen her face when I drove pasta!
CarsWordplayCreativity