Life's Recipe
I always take life with a grain of salt. And a slice of lemon. And a shot of Tequila.
DrinksLifePhilosophy+1
BROWSE DAD JOKES
18 jokes in this category β enough to last a lifetime of car rides.
AllWordplaySarcasmRelationshipsFoodIronyPhilosophyLifeAnimalsTechnologyCommunicationMarriageMoneyMotivationDrinksSatireHealthWorkDark HumorLifestyleIntelligence
Aged Wisdom
Fight me if you wish but know that I am old for a reason.
AgePhilosophyConflict+1
Utopian Joke
Your mama is so classless, she could be a Marxist Utopia.
PoliticsSatireInsult+1
Procrastination Advice
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
ProcrastinationIronySatire+2
Tomorrow's Chance
Life always offers you a second chance. It's called TOMORROW.
LifeMotivationFuture+1
Heart and Brain
Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along.
AdvicePhilosophySarcasm+2
Thought Dive
A mind is like a parachute. It doesnβt work if it is not open.
IntelligencePhilosophyPsychology+2
Clockwise Concern
Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
MotivationPhilosophyLife+2
Philosophical Navigation
Philosophers don't get lost in thought... they are familiar with the terrain!
PhilosophyWordplayBooks
Listening to My Inner Thoughts
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
MindImaginationCreativity+1
Everything's Fine for Now
The sun is going to go out in 4 billion years. And you sit there... acting like everything is fine!
Dark HumorSarcasmSpace+2
Doing It Quickly
When you don't know what you are doing... It's best to do it quickly.
SpeedAdvicePhilosophy+2
Hole-in-One Advice
If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
PhilosophyAdviceSports+1
Solving Problems, One Bite at a Time
Remember: You can eat your way out of almost any problem.
FoodProblem-SolvingPhilosophy+1
Skydiving Wisdom: The Parachute Paradox
If your parachute won't open. It's okay. You have the rest of your life to fix it.
AdventurePhilosophyMotivation+1
The Art of Pleasing
You can please all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can never please all of the people all of the time.
PhilosophyLifeTruth+1
New Mistakes Philosophy
It's useless to undo a mistake. Focus on making new ones.
MistakesLifeSchool+2
Tomato Wisdom
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad!
FruitPhilosophyWordplay