Invisible Concern
Doctor, an invisible patient is on line one. Tell him I can't see him right now.
HealthWordplayWork
BROWSE DAD JOKES
40 jokes in this category β enough to last a lifetime of car rides.
AllWordplaySarcasmRelationshipsFoodIronyPhilosophyLifeAnimalsTechnologyCommunicationMarriageMoneyMotivationDrinksSatireHealthWorkDark HumorLifestyleIntelligence
Word Theft
I invented a new word: Plagiarism!
InventionWordplayLanguage+2
Cocktail Promise
What did the bartender say to his date? Alcohol you later?
DrinksRelationshipsWordplay+1
Edible Assignment
Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it's a piece of cake!!
SchoolFoodMisunderstanding+2
Magic Mut
What do you call a magig dog? A Labracadabrador.
AnimalsDogsWordplay+2
Timekeeping Insect
What kind of bug tells time? A clock Roach
InsectsTimeWordplay+1
Sailor's Alphabet
Why couldn't the bad sailor learn the alphabet. Because he always got lost at 'C'.
OceanLanguageSchool+1
Monkey Diet
A new study found that human eat more bananas than Monkeys. It's true, I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
SatireWordplayMisdirection+2
Correction Years
Husband: For the last 28 years, all you've done is find mistakes in anything I say. Wife: 29 years...
WordplayMarriageRelationships+2
Agreement Strategy
How is arguing with a woman like reading a software license agreement? In the end you ignore it all and click 'I agree'.
WordplayRelationshipsArguments+2
Reading Disconnect
You can't get on the same page if you don't read the same book.
BooksWordplayCommunication+1
Stock Market Crash
A stock market crash is worse than a divorce. You lose half your money but your wife is still around.
MoneyWordplayMarriage+2
Barbecue Bandit
Never trust a dog to watch your food.
WordplayDogsPets+2
Castle Comforts
I sleep in a castle every two weeks. It's my fort night.
WordplayParenting
The Paradox of Perfection
I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore... I am perfect!
WordplayLogicLifestyle
The Ultimate Color Crush
Green is my all time favorite color. I love it even more than blue and yellow combined.
ColorsArtWordplay
Philosophical Navigation
Philosophers don't get lost in thought... they are familiar with the terrain!
PhilosophyWordplayBooks
Uranium Diet Disaster
What do you get when you eat uranium? Atomic ache.
ScienceFoodWordplay+2
Round and Proud
I'm in shape... Round is shape, isn't it?
WordplaySelf-DeprecatingFitness+2
Brake Fluid Brain
80% of the brain is fluid. Unfortunately in your case, itβs brake fluid.
ScienceHealthWordplay+2
Cheers to T-Days
I only drink on days beginning with 'T' - Tuesday, Thursday, Today, and Tomorrow.
WordplayDrinksLifestyle
Shedding Light on the Dark Ages
Why were the Middle Ages called Dark Ages? Because there were too many knights.
HistoryMedievalWordplay
Buzzing Sales
What do bees do with their honey? They cell it.
WordplayInsectsFood+2
Sleep Tight, Drive Right
Regular naps prevent old age. Especially if you take them while driving.
WordplayCarsAge+2