Wardrobe Negotiations
My wife is always stealing my T-shirts and sweater⦠but if I take one of her dresses⦠suddenly⦠"we need to talk."
MarriageClothingGender+2
BROWSE DAD JOKES
20 jokes in this category β enough to last a lifetime of car rides.
AllWordplaySarcasmRelationshipsFoodIronyPhilosophyLifeAnimalsTechnologyCommunicationMarriageMoneyMotivationDrinksSatireHealthWorkDark HumorLifestyleIntelligence
Cocktail Promise
What did the bartender say to his date? Alcohol you later?
DrinksRelationshipsWordplay+1
Marital Revelation
My wife and I were happy for 25 years⦠and then we met.
MarriageRelationshipsIrony+1
Debate Clarification
I'm not arguing, I'm just telling you why you are wrong.
SarcasmCommunicationRelationships+2
Eternal Tease
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
MarriageRelationshipsSarcasm+2
Correction Years
Husband: For the last 28 years, all you've done is find mistakes in anything I say. Wife: 29 years...
WordplayMarriageRelationships+2
Agreement Strategy
How is arguing with a woman like reading a software license agreement? In the end you ignore it all and click 'I agree'.
WordplayRelationshipsArguments+2
Leading Cause Unveiled
What's the leading cause of divorce? Marriage.
RelationshipsMarriageSatire
The Gift of Giving (and Receiving More)
My wife set a limit of how much we can spend on each other for Christmas. It's $100 on me and $500 on her.
MarriageChristmasGift+2
Embracing the Crazy in the Family
My doctor asked if anyone in my family struggles with mental illness. I replied, 'Nope, we all seem to thrive on it!'
FamilyMental HealthHealth+1
The Secret to Better Tasting Dinners
Every wife should understand one thing: A dinner will taste better if she cooks it less frequently.
FoodRelationshipsMarriage+1
A Game Men Can't Win
No man has ever won a game of "Notice anything different about me?"
MenRelationshipsCommunication+2
Marriage vs. Smoking
Marriage and smoking are similar. You start because you want to and you continue because you have to.
MarriageSmokingComparison+1
The Truth Behind 'It's Fine'
Never trust a woman that says 'It's fine.'
RelationshipsWomenTrust+2
When Dates Go Wrong
When I asked if you'd like to go out on a date sometime... I meant with me.
RelationshipsMisunderstandingCommunication+1
The Truth About Phones
If your partner asks, 'Do you love your phone more than you love me?' Lie!
RelationshipsTechnologyCommunication
Unconditional Love with a Few Tweaks
I love you just the way you are, but I do have a few suggestions.
RelationshipsCriticismCommunication
The True Meaning of Happiness
I never understood the true meaning of happiness until I got married... But by then, it was already too late.
MarriageHappinessIrony+1
Love or Money?
Would you have married me if I didn't inherit a fortune from my father? Honey, I would have married you no matter who left you a fortune.
WordplayMarriageRelationships+1
Wife's Apology
My wife apologised to me the other day. She said she was sorry for ever marrying me.
MarriageRelationshipsWordplay+1