WORK DAD JOKES

72 work dad jokes — enough to last a lifetime of car rides.

All Money Work Wisdom Food Marriage Life Math Animals Aging Time Wife Family Philosophy Relationship Drinking Kids Career Music School Job

Wired The Wrong Way

People are shocked at how bad I am as an electrician.

Work Job

🙄0😂0

Ancient Wisdom Updated

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Fishing Beer Wisdom+1

🙄0😂0

Standard Operating Procedure

To err is human and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

Computer Blame Mistakes+2

🙄0😂0

Breakfast Plate Economics

Ham & Eggs, a day's work for a chicken and a lifetime commitment for a pig.

Breakfast Chicken Pig+2

🙄0😂0

Cramped Genius

Claustrophobic people are more productive when they are thinking out of the box.

Work Thinking Ideas

🙄0😂0

Spotless Means Trouble

A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.

House Computer Procrastination+1

🙄0😂0

Office Supply Slander

Blunt pencils are really pointless.

Office Work

🙄0😂0

Always One More Increment

The definition of a perfectionist is someone who wants to go from point A to point A+.

Work Ambition Mindset

🙄0😂0

Reverse Engineering Stanzas

A backward poet writes inverse.

Writing Words Work

🙄0😂0

Read The Room

Don't think of me as a boss, think of me as a friend who can fire you.

Boss Work Job+2

🙄0😂0

Commuter Carp

A fish may love water, but it still needs a bicycle to ride to work.

Fish Bicycle Work+2

🙄0😂0

Bigger Things Going On

I cannot afford to waste my time making money.

Money Time Work+1

🙄0😂0

Management By Recliner

Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do what you want done because he wants to do it.

Leadership Management Work+1

🙄0😂0

Say Yes First

When you are asked if you can do a job, tell ’em, ‘Certainly I can!’ Then get busy and find out how to do it.

Job Work Career+2

🙄0😂0

The Secret Ratio

Confidence is 10% hard work and 90% delusion.

Confidence Work Success

🙄0😂0

The Whole Trick

Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it.

Work Career Advice+1

🙄0😂0

Right Past My Ear

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make when they fly by...

Work Procrastination Time+1

🙄0😂0

Found Your Calling

Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.

Work Ambition Laziness

🙄0😂0

The Top Number Lies

It's called gross pay because it's disgusting to see how much money you would have made before taxes.

Taxes Money Work+1

🙄0😂0

Dairy Discipline

Producing concentrated milk requires real focus!

Dairy Work

🙄0😂0

Convenient Biology

I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.

Sick Weekend Work

🙄0😂0

Leadership Position

A bossy man walked into a bar. Then ordered everyone a round.

Bar Boss Drinks+2

🙄0😂0

Definitional Loophole

I'm retired in the sense that I was tired yesterday and I am tired again today.

Retirement Tired Work+2

🙄0😂0

Loyalty by Ultimatum

How long have I been working for this company? Ever since they threatened to fire me...

Work Job Career

🙄0😂0