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Dad Jokes

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Dark Humor Jokes

25 dark humor dad jokes. You asked for it.

Survival Question

Survival Question

A place crashed in the jungle and every single person died. Who survived? Married couples.

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Double Trouble Day

Double Trouble Day

Today was a terrible day... my ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

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The End of the Drop

The End of the Drop

It's not the fall that kills you... It's the sudden stop at the end.

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The Smurf Color Puzzle

The Smurf Color Puzzle

I wonder what color do Smurfs turn when you choke them…

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Everything's Fine for Now

Everything's Fine for Now

The sun is going to go out in 4 billion years. And you sit there... acting like everything is fine!

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Fear of the Light

Fear of the Light

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now when I get my electricity bill, I am afraid of the light.

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Brake Fluid Brain

Brake Fluid Brain

80% of the brain is fluid. Unfortunately in your case, it’s brake fluid.

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A Harsh Reality: The Brighter Shadow

A Harsh Reality: The Brighter Shadow

See that shadow on the wall? It's brighter than your future.

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Financial Planning: A Short-Term View

Financial Planning: A Short-Term View

I have all the money I'll ever need if I die by 4:00 p.m. today

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Stalking the Stalker

Stalking the Stalker

I think my neighbor is stalking me... I saw her googling my name through my telescope last night.

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Unspoken Needs

Unspoken Needs

I have a parrot and it talks. But it didn't say it was hungry, so it died.

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Chocolate Box Life

Chocolate Box Life

Life is like a box of chocolates, it ends sooner for fat people.

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Falling Monkey Mystery

Falling Monkey Mystery

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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Six-Word Obituary

Six-Word Obituary

Marge called the newspaper for an obituary. Marge: Print this: Bernie is dead. Clerk: For 25$, you can use six words. Marge: OK. Print: Bernie is dead. Toyota for sale.

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Quiet neighborhood, killer deal

Quiet neighborhood, killer deal

A couple is touring a house with a realtor... The house is great, but is the neighborhood quiet? Absolutely. There have been six murders and seven robberies and no one heard a thing.

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Coffee & Jokes

Coffee & Jokes

I like my coffee like I like my jokes... brewed to perfection and a little bit dark!

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Booked for Thursday

Booked for Thursday

I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She said: "Great, I booked it for Thursday."

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Bouquet Toss 2.0

Bouquet Toss 2.0

AT MY FUNERAL, SOMEONE SHOULD TAKE THE BOUQUET OFF MY CASKET AND THROW IT IN THE CROWD TO SEE WHO IS NEXT.

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