Family Jokes

39 family dad jokes. You asked for it.

Lunge Forward

My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.

Marriage Fitness Wordplay+2

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Wedding Costs

Dad, how much it costs to get married? No idea, I'm still paying.

Dad Family Marriage+2

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Phone Finding

The only reason I have a home phone is so I can find my cell phone.

Technology Family Absurd+1

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Pun Parenthood

It's inappropriate to make a 'dad joke' if you're not a dad. It's a faux pa.

Wordplay Parenting Family+1

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Musical Paternity

How does a father listen to MUSIC. With Pop Tunes and a dad-mirable sense of humor.

Family Music Wordplay+2

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Vacuum Sales

I finally decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. All it was doing was gathering dust.

Wordplay Household Satire+2

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Spider Mystery

Seeing spider in my room isn't scary. It's scary when it disappears.

Animals Fear Family

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Inherited Insanity

Insanity is hereditary, you get it from your children.

Family Parenthood Insanity+2

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Sanity Certified

I'm not insane. My mother had me tested.

Insanity Family Television

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Einstein's Brother

Albert Einstein was a genius. But his brother Frank was a monster.

Science Wordplay Monsters+2

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Divine Parenting

My teenage son treats me like a god. He acts like I don't exist until he wants something.

Wordplay Parenting Religion+2

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Sibling Playtime

Please go play with your brother. That's basically why we had him.

Wordplay Parenting Family+1

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Dad's Jokes

If a mother is laughing at the father's jokes, it means they have guests.

Wordplay Family Relationships+2

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Professional Tryer

They say 'Don't try this at home' so I'm coming over to your house to try it...

Wordplay Family Neighbors+1

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Daily New Faces

Alzheimer's can't be that bad, you get to meet new people every day.

Health Nostalgia Age+2

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A Wheel-y Clever Idea

Why did the dad roll down the hill in a tractor tire? Because it was a wheel-y good idea!

Wordplay Transportation Family

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Paying for Teen Dates

Having teenagers is just paying for a bunch of dates that you don't get to go on.

Parenting Teenagers Relationships+2

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The Cost of Clean Clothes

Wedding, an expensive way to get laundry done for free.

Marriage Household Money+1

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Grandma's Dollar

If I had a dollar for every woman who called me handsome... I'd have 1 dollar. Thanks, Grandma!

Family Money Appearance+1

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Seeing the Code: Dad's New Perspective

Why did the Dad become a programmer? Because he wanted to C more!

Family Technology Wordplay

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Blown Away

A storm blew away only 25% of my roof last night. OOF!

Weather Family Percentage

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Embracing the Crazy in the Family

My doctor asked if anyone in my family struggles with mental illness. I replied, 'Nope, we all seem to thrive on it!'

Family Mental Health Health+1

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Growing Up with Limited Tunes

I grew up so poor we could only listen to Simon or Garfunkel.

Music Childhood Family

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Double Trouble Parenting

Two wrongs don't make a right. Take your parents as an example.

Family Parenting Wordplay+2

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