Work Jokes

72 work dad jokes. You asked for it.

Identify Them Immediately

Anyone saying good morning on a Monday is a sociopath.

MondayMorningWork+1

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Math According to Dad

The first five days after the weekend are the hardest.

WeekendMondayWork+1

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The Beautiful Loop

I work to buy a car to go to work.

WorkCarMoney+2

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Crime of Doing Nothing

I don't understand why people hate lazy people. They didn't do anything.

LazyLazinessPeople+2

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Rough Shift Downtown

Today was a terrible day... my ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

JobWork

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The Universal Job Site Rule

Meskimen's Law: "There is never time to do it right, but there is always time to do it over."

WorkMistakesWisdom

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Tomorrow Sounds Better

A procrastinator's work is never done.

ProcrastinationWorkLazy+2

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Sunrise Operations Report

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

MorningWorkMistakes+1

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Aluminum Career Advice

Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.

JobWork

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Audit-Proof Effort

Always give 100% at work: 17% Monday, 28% Tuesday, 8% Wednesday, 24% Thursday, 23% Friday

WorkMondayEffort+1

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Confidence Is A Speed

When you don't know what you are doing... It's best to do it quickly.

ConfidenceWorkMistakes+1

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Couch Inventor Theory

Progress is made by lazy men looking for an easier way to do things.

LazinessWorkInvention

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Corner Office Material

To err is human. To blame it on somebody else shows management potential.

ManagementBlameWork+2

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The Real Office Skill

It's not how good your work is, it's how well you explain it.

WorkCareerOffice+2

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Tomorrow Sounds Promising

A procrastinator's work is never done.

ProcrastinationWorkLazy

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Classified Information Wanted

I wish my wife was one of those secret agents who can't spill a word about their day at work!

WifeMarriageTalking+1

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Time Management Genius

I always arrive late at the office but I make up for it by leaving early.

OfficeWorkJob+2

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Hive Mind Hustle

What do bees do with their honey? They cell it.

BeesWorkPun

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Billable Loitering

I don't work here. I'm a consultant

WorkCareerJob+1

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Promotion Mechanics

The secret to success is to know who to blame for your failures.

SuccessBlameFailure+2

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Machine Versus Man

A computer does what you command it to do, but not necessarily what you want it to do.

ComputerTechnologyProgramming+1

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Wrong Math, Friend

The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income.

RetirementMoneyWork+1

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Tell Them The Truth

Why do you want this job? I've just always been very passionate about not starving to death.

JobWorkCareer+1

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Tuesday Doesn't Care

Your goals don't care if you're sad. Do what must be done.

MotivationGritDiscipline+2

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