Work Jokes

61 work dad jokes. You asked for it.

Stationary Business

I tried to start a stationary business. Unfortunately, it just didn't go anywhere.

WordplayWorkStationery+1

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Musical Payment Plan

How would a drummer be paid if he started selling pillows? Per cushion.

WordplayMusicWork

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Workday Woes

I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.

WordplayWeekdaysWork+1

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Bedside Duty

Why couldn't the cop get out of bed? He was an undercover cop.

WordplayCrimeSleep+1

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Secret Keeper

I can totally keep secrets. It’s the people I tell them to that can’t.

WordplayWorkSecrets+1

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Stock Market Crash

A stock market crash is worse than a divorce. You lose half your money but your wife is still around.

MoneyWordplayMarriage+2

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Blame Game

I didn't say it was your fault, I just said I was blaming you.

RelationshipsWorkWordplay+2

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Threatened Employment

How long have I been working for this company? Ever since they threatened to fire me...

WordplayWorkEmployment+1

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Monday Morning Madness

Anyone saying good morning on a Monday is a sociopath.

WordplayMondayMorning+2

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Post-Weekend Struggle

The first five days after the weekend are the hardest.

WordplayWorkWeekend+1

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The Work Cycle

I work to buy a car to go to work.

WordplayWorkCars+1

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Never-Ending To-Do List

A procrastinator's work is never done.

ProcrastinationWorkLifestyle+1

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Soda Pressing Job

Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.

WordplayWorkDrinks

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Giving 100% at Work

Always give 100% at work: 17% Monday, 28% Tuesday, 8% Wednesday, 24% Thursday, 23% Friday

WorkPercentageMotivation

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Management Skills 101

To err is human. To blame it on somebody else shows management potential.

ManagementLeadershipWork

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The Power of Explanation

It's not how good your work is, it's how well you explain it.

MotivationWorkCommunication+2

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The Eternal To-Do List

A procrastinator's work is never done.

ProcrastinationWorkLifestyle+1

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Top Secret Tales

I wish my wife was one of those secret agents who can't spill a word about their day at work!

MarriageWorkSecrets

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Late In, Early Out: Office Habits

I always arrive late at the office but I make up for it by leaving early.

WorkTimeProcrastination

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World's Okayest Consultant

I don't work here. I'm a consultant

Work

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Blaming Your Way to the Top

The secret to success is to know who to blame for your failures.

MotivationSuccessWork+2

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Young Recruits

What do you call a young army? Infantry.

MilitaryWordplayAge+1

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Survival Motivation

Why do you want this job? I've just always been very passionate about not starving to death.

WorkSurvivalMotivation+1

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Tipsy Confidential

Nobody works harder than a drunk person trying to carefully whisper a secret.

DrinksWorkSecrets+1

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