ANIMALS DAD JOKES

39 animals dad jokes — enough to last a lifetime of car rides.

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Salad Has Enemies

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Vegetarian Animals Food+1

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Apex Trivia Hour

What do an eagle and a lion have in common? They both have wings, except for the lion.

Animals Trivia Absurd

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Bartender Of The Year

A penguin walks into a bar and asks the bartender: Have you seen my brother? I don't know, what does he look like?

Penguin Bartender Bar+1

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Barnyard Acoustics

What do you get when you mix brown chicken & brown cow? A brown chicka brown cow? Bow-chicka-wow-wow.

Chicken Cow Animals

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No Standing Ovation

Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands? Because they are extinct!

Dinosaurs Animals Prehistoric

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Fast Lane Is Relative

What did the snail say while riding on the turtle’s back? WOOHOO!!

Speed Animals Slow

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Banned From The Shoreline

Why aren’t elephants allowed on the beach? They just can’t keep their trunks up!

Beach Animals

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Backstroke Champion

Why do squirrels swim on their backs? To keep their nuts dry!

Animals Nature

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Zoning Permit Pending

To start a zoo you need at least 2 pandas, a grizzly, and a polar. It's the bear minimum.

Animals

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Brass At Breakfast

What's the loudest pet? A trumpet!

Pet Music Loud+1

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Apex Predator, Inner Peace

I taught a wolf to meditate. Now he's aware wolf.

Animals

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Author On Ice

I wrote a book on penguins. Honestly, it would have been much easier if I wrote it on paper.

Book Writing Animals

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Sunday School Special

Where did Noah keep his bees? In the ark hives.

Bees Animals

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Savanna Sweetheart Blues

Why did the giraffe with short neck feel sad? She just wanted to belong.

Animals

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Tall Order, Bad Strategy

Why don't giraffes ever win at hide and seek? They just can't help but stick out!

Animals Hideandseek Kids

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