BROWSE DAD JOKES

38 jokes in this category — enough to last a lifetime of car rides.

All Wordplay Animals Sarcasm Food Relationships Irony Philosophy Work Satire Life Motivation Technology Money Drinks Family Communication Age Math Health Parenting

Time Tracking

They used to time me with a stopwatch. Now, they use a calendar.

Age Time Self-Deprecating+2

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Nostalgia Misunderstanding

The best thing about good old days is that we were neither good nor old.

Nostalgia Irony Age+2

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Aged Wisdom

Fight me if you wish but know that I am old for a reason.

Age Philosophy Conflict+1

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Cheese Age

Age is of no importance unless you're a cheese.

Age Cheese Philosophy+2

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Uncharted Years

I don’t know how to act my age because I’ve never been this old before.

Age Life Experience+2

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Forever Young at Heart

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Age Mind Perception+1

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Errand Escapade

I'm at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out...

Age Lifestyle Adulting+2

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Fit and Far Away

At 61, Grandma started walking five miles a day to stay fit. Now she is 97! And we have no clue where she is...

Wordplay Fitness Age

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Wrinkles in Time

Time may be a great healer but it’s also a lousy beautician.

Wordplay Time Appearance+2

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Old Man Golf

When I was a kid, everybody that played golf was an old man.

Sports Wordplay Age+1

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Tired Retirement

I'm retired in the sense that I was tired yesterday and I am tired again today.

Wordplay Retirement Life+2

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Young and Stupid

I like you. You remind me when I was young and stupid.

Wordplay Age Communication+2

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Vintage Rainbow

You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white.

Age Colors Wordplay+2

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Old Age Advantage

Don't mess with old people. Life sentences don't scare them anymore...

Wordplay Age Crime+1

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Daily New Faces

Alzheimer's can't be that bad, you get to meet new people every day.

Health Nostalgia Age+2

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Aging and Fire Safety

The older you get, the more you need to keep a fire extinguisher close to the cake.

Age Life Safety+1

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Born on Your Birthday

Were any famous men born on your birthday? No, only little babies.

Age Parenting Men+1

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Aged to Perfection

"How old was I in 2007?", "Ah. 2007. I was young and full of dreams, not quite fossilized yet!"

Nostalgia Age Perspective

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Path to Wisdom

To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid.

Philosophy Age Life+1

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The One-Way Street

What goes up and never comes down? Your age!

Riddle Age Time

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Young Recruits

What do you call a young army? Infantry.

Military Wordplay Age+1

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Retirement Priorities

The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income.

Retirement Age Priorities

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Old Biker's Secret

There are drunk bikers, there are old bikers. But... there are no old, drunk bikers!

Age Drinks Stereotypes+1

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The 35-Year Music Rule

By age 35 you should hate the last three albums by your favorite band.

Age Music Life

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