The Long GameTreat your kids well! They'll be the ones picking your nursing home.KidsParentingFamily+1π0π0
Forrest Would Be FuriousLife is like a box of chocolates, it ends sooner for fat people.LifeMortalityFood+1π0π0
Birthday Math OptionalHow old would you feel if you didnβt know your age? Just a genuine question.AgeAgingBirthday+2π0π0
The Mirror Lies LessAging gracefully means you're slowly starting to look worse.AgingOldMirror+2π0π0
Estate Planning, LooselyIf I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs, I may live long enough to be a real burden to my loved ones. Please, pass me the wine.WineDrinkingAging+1π0π0
Bedside Manner Needs WorkYou're in excellent health. You'll live to be 90. But, Doctor, I am 90! That's it then...DoctorHealthAging+1π0π0
Cake MathDon't worry about getting older... You're still younger than you'll be next year! Happy BirthdayBirthdayAgingAge+1π0π0
Fire Marshal ApprovedOnce you reach a venerable age... You just need 1 candle on your cake for one more year on Earth!BirthdayAgingCandles+1π0π0
Victory Lap, Ankle HighYesterday, I wore something from 5 years ago, and it still fit! I'm so proud! Okay... It was just socks, but still!ClothesAgingSuccess+1π0π0
Same Wreck, New PaintI wanna be 16 again so I can ruin my life differently.YouthRegretAging+2π0π0
Adulthood, As PromisedWhen I was a kid, bedtime was 9 p.m. I couldnβt wait to grow up so I could go to bed whenever I wanted. Well... Thatβs still 9 p.m.SleepAgingTiredπ0π0
