MONEY DAD JOKES

73 money dad jokes — enough to last a lifetime of car rides.

All Money Work Wisdom Food Marriage Life Math Animals Aging Time Wife Family Philosophy Relationship Drinking Kids Career Music School Job

The Real Retirement Plan

I just want to be rich enough to threaten to cut people out of my will.

Money Rich Family

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Recession Math

Most of the people dream of not working and having lots of money. During an economic crisis 50% of those dreams come true.

Money Work Economy

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Held The Line At Zero

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

Money Wealth Success+1

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Refrigerator Gallery

I'm afraid my kid will become a famous artist, and I'll have thrown away a fortune in their early work.

Kids Art Parenting+1

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Foolproof Finance Strategy

I figured out how to make a million dollars on the stock market. Invest 2 million.

Money Finance Wealth

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The Wallet Paradox

Money isn't everything but everything needs money

Money Wealth Finance+2

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Napkin Math Economics

If the US wants to solve its $34.9 trillion debt problem, the solution is simple! Just tax each inhabitant on average $100,000. It's like taking a page out of Europe's tax book. One year and poof... no more debt!

Taxes Economy Money+1

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Top-Down Philosophy

Money can't buy happiness, but it can definitely help you hunt for it faster... in a shiny new convertible!

Money Happiness Cars+1

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Annual Wool Harvest

How do you milk sheep? Release a new iPhone and charge $1,000 for it.

Money Tech

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Wealth Strategy, Cushion Edition

To be in the 1%, you gotta do what the 99% don't... like hide the remote!

Wealth Money Success+1

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Field Research

A laundromat is a poor place to pick up a woman. If she can't afford a washing machine, she probably won't be able to support you either.

Dating Women Relationships+1

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Marge Knows Value

Marge called the newspaper for an obituary. Marge: Print this: Bernie is dead. Clerk: For 25$, you can use six words. Marge: OK. Print: Bernie is dead. Toyota for sale.

Money

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