FOOD DAD JOKES

48 food dad jokes — enough to last a lifetime of car rides.

All Money Work Wisdom Food Marriage Life Math Animals Aging Time Wife Family Philosophy Relationship Drinking Kids Career Music School Job

Undead Goes Plant Based

What does a vegetarian zombie eat? GRAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIINNNNNNSSSSSSSS

Zombie Vegetarian Halloween+1

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The Buffet Strategy

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.

Food Diet Eating

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A Riddle With Layers

What is red, but invisible? No tomato.

Tomato Riddle Absurd+2

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Suspicious Pasta Bowl

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

Pasta Food Cooking

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Slow Garden Drama

What did the slow tomato say to the others? Don't worry, I'll ketchup.

Tomato Food Garden+2

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Grocery Aisle Confession

What did the vegan say? I made a big missed steak.

Steak Food Diet

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Tip Well Or Else

Heard about the new restaurant called Karma? There's no menu! You get what you deserve.

Restaurant Food

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Snack At Mach One

What is fast, loud, crunchy? A rocket Chip!

Food

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Black Belt Bacon

What should you call a pig who knows karate? A pork chop!

Pig Animals Food

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Following Instructions

Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it's a piece of cake!!

School Food

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Slow Lane Connoisseurs

Why do some people eat snails? Because they don't like fast food.

Food Cooking Slow+1

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Produce Aisle Confession

A new study found that human eat more bananas than Monkeys. It's true, I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

Fruit Food

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House Specialty

I asked the waiter how they prepared their Chicken. "Nothing special," he explained. "We just tell them they're going to die."

Chicken Restaurant Cooking+1

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Worst Date Spot Ever

Have you heard about the restaurant ON THE MOON? Great food, no atmosphere.

Restaurant Space Food

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Rude Bovine Energy

What do you call a cow with bad manners? Beef Jerky.

Cow Food Animals

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Pre Filled Dessert Decline

Why did the Teddy Bear say no to dessert? Because she was stuffed.

Dessert Food

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Slice Of Wisdom

Don't bite off more than you can chew unless it's pizza.

Pizza Food Advice+1

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Wheels Of Time

Age is of no importance unless you're a cheese.

Cheese Age Aging+2

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Loophole Located

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?

Fridge Food Kitchen

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Nutritionally Symmetrical

A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.

Diet Food Balance+1

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Breakfast With Roget

What do Thesaurus have for breakfast? Synonym rolls!

Breakfast Words Food

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Olympic Caliber Athlete

My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. It's called lunch.

Exercise Food Fitness

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Reception Caught Fire

Two slices of bread got married. The wedding was amazing, until someone decided to toast the bride and groom.

Wedding Marriage Food

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Delivered In Thirty Minutes

Why are pizza jokes the worst? They're too cheesy...

Pizza Cheese Food+1

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