FOOD DAD JOKES

48 food dad jokes — enough to last a lifetime of car rides.

All Money Work Wisdom Food Marriage Life Math Animals Aging Time Wife Family Philosophy Relationship Drinking Kids Career Music School Job

Hard-Earned Sandwich Rule

Never trust a dog to watch your food.

Dog Food Pets+2

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Deep Cut Menu

What do sea monsters eat for lunch? Fish and ships.

Fish Ocean Food

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Mirror Image Diet

Stressed is just desserts spelled backwards.

Dessert Backwards Food+1

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Menu Choices, Reviewed

What do you get when you eat uranium? Atomic ache.

Science Chemistry Food+1

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Grill Master Disclaimer

Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

Food Health Cooking+1

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PR For Lunch

People are a lot less judgy when you say you ate an avocado salad instead of a bowl of guacamole.

Salad Food

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Stack Em High Reverently

If my body is a temple, then... eating pancakes is a form of prayer.

Food Breakfast

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Snack-Based Conflict Resolution

Remember: You can eat your way out of almost any problem.

Food Eating Snacks+1

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Naming Rights

If I discovered a new animal, I'd call it a Quorn! Just to mess with vegetarians.

Animal Vegetarian Food

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Encased Royalty

What do you call a German sausage made of other German sausages? The wurst of the wurst.

Food

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Until The Box Opens

Best friends: willing to sacrifice everything for each other, yet fiercely battle over the last slice of pizza.

Friends Pizza Food

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Engineered To Spill

I eat my tacos over a tortilla. That way when stuff falls out, boom, boom, another taco!

Food Planning

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Salad Has Enemies

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Vegetarian Animals Food+1

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Forrest Would Be Furious

Life is like a box of chocolates, it ends sooner for fat people.

Life Mortality Food+1

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Breakfast Has Opinions

Wow, it's hot in here! AHH! A talking sausage!

Grill Talking Food

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Fine Dining, Lawn Edition

What does a man consider a seven-course meal? A hot dog and a six-pack of beer.

Food Beer Men

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Kitchen Identity Crisis

If a chef makes a chef salad, who makes tuna salad???

Salad Food Cooking

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Bakery Surprise

Wow, it’s really hot in here! Whoa! A talking muffin?

Talking Food

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Caped Crusader Order

Why does Batman like Hawaiian pizza? Because it got ham.

Pizza Food

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On Track, Technically

Doing pretty good so far on my 1500 calorie a day diet! As long as I don't eat anything else today and tomorrow.

Diet Food Eating+1

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Lunch Ran Long

I ate a clock the other day. It was very time consuming.

Clock Time Eating+2

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Tummy Trouble Tribunal

Why is proving food poisoning so tough? Because you just can't come up with any solid evidence.

Food Stomach Cooking

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Brining Down The House

Cooking this weekend? Don't forget the pickle... it's kind of a big dill.

Cooking Food Weekend+1

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Bean Bag Diplomacy

What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I've never had a lentil on my face.

Food

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