BROWSE DAD JOKES

904 jokes and counting — enough to last a lifetime of car rides.

All Money Work Wisdom Food Marriage Life Math Animals Aging Time Wife Family Philosophy Relationship Drinking Kids Career Music School Job

Savanna Sweetheart Blues

Why did the giraffe with short neck feel sad? She just wanted to belong.

Animals

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Bean Bag Diplomacy

What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I've never had a lentil on my face.

Food

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Signal Lost, Drama Found

A relationship with no trust is like having a phone with no service: You just play games.

Relationship Trust Phone+2

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Spiritual Bankruptcy

I've decided to leave my past behind, so if I owe you money... Sorry, I've moved on!

Money Past Growth

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Victory Lap, Ankle High

Yesterday, I wore something from 5 years ago, and it still fit! I'm so proud! Okay... It was just socks, but still!

Clothes Aging Success+1

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Ambition, On Delay

Keep the dream alive. And hit the snooze button.

Sleep Dreams Work+1

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Same Wreck, New Paint

I wanna be 16 again so I can ruin my life differently.

Youth Regret Aging+2

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Two Bars Of Genius

Smart phone. Dumb battery.

Phone Technology Generation

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Hardcover, Higher Education

Why did the book go to art school? Because it wanted to draw a conclusion!

Book School Art+2

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Winter Has Fangs

What do you get when you mix a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!

Winter Cold Halloween

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Garage Innovation

My wife said I was nuts for building a car out of spaghetti... But you should've seen her face when I drove pasta!

Wife Car Pasta+1

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Stand-Up With No Right

What did the guy with two left feet ask at the shoe store? Got any flip-flips?

Feet Dancing

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Adulthood, As Promised

When I was a kid, bedtime was 9 p.m. I couldn’t wait to grow up so I could go to bed whenever I wanted. Well... That’s still 9 p.m.

Sleep Aging Tired

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Geographic Difficulties

I never lose my car in the parking lot. It’s just temporarily misplaced!

Car Parking Lost+1

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Tall Order, Bad Strategy

Why don't giraffes ever win at hide and seek? They just can't help but stick out!

Animals Hideandseek Kids

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Read Em By The Tongs

You can tell a lot about a man by how many times they flip their steaks while cooking.

Grill Steak Cooking+1

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