BROWSE DAD JOKES

904 jokes and counting — enough to last a lifetime of car rides.

All Money Work Wisdom Food Marriage Life Math Animals Aging Time Wife Family Philosophy Relationship Drinking Kids Career Music School Job

German Geography Lesson

What's the coldest city in Germany? Brr-lin.

Cold Travel

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Quarter Eating Phobia

What do you call it when you're so scared of arcade games that you cannot move anymore? Tetrified!

Games Fear

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Procrastination Memoir

I'm writing a book about all the things I should be doing. It will be my oughtobiography.

Book Writing Procrastination

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Volume Restrictions Tropical

Can you laugh loud in Hawaii, or is it only a-low-ha?

Laugh Loud Vacation

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Property Line Mathematics

What's the difference between one yard and two yards? A fence!

Yard Neighbor Lawn

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Etymology Lesson Free

Why is it called politics? Because poly means many and ticks are blood-sucking parasites!

Politics Government

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Magnetic Mistake

My life was great until I visited the North Pole. From there it all went south.

Travel Vacation Cold

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Two Roommates Forever

2 mysterious people live in my house. Somebody & Nobody. Somebody did it and Nobody knows who.

Family Kids Household+1

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Page Of Shame

I just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disingenuous, disgraceful, disgusting, and... dishonest.

Words Vocabulary Language

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Bowl Of Diplomacy

My wife said I make salads too dry. Definitely something that needs addressing...

Salad Wife Kitchen+2

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A Concise Memoir

Just finished writing my first book... The A to C of Laziness.

Book Laziness Writing+1

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Login Denied Tonight

Apparently you cannot use 'beefstew' as a password. It is not STROGANOFF.

Password Computer Security+2

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Riddle From Route 70

What's round on the outside and high in the middle? OHIO

Geography Riddle

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Breakfast Tech Stack

Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications!

Technology Kitchen

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Apex Predator Strategy

A shark can out-swim me, but I can outrun it. In a triathlon, it all comes down to cycling! Who's betting?

Sports

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Verse In The Yard

I wrote a POEM: I dig, you dig, we dig, they dig. It's not LONG... but very DEEP!

Writing

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Bedtime Calculus

Every night I'm like 'I have exactly 5 hours, 37 minutes, 19 seconds... If I fall asleep in 2 minutes'

Sleep Insomnia Math

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Booked Through December

Why did the calendar start a band? It had a lot of dates and wanted to make some good memories.

Calendar Music

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Gravity Stays Undefeated

What's the hardest thing about skydiving? The ground.

Skydiving Gravity

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Surf Rock Economics

Round? Round. Get a round? I'll get a round! THE BEACH BOYS

Music Drinks Singing

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Reading Group Limbo

What do you call a book club that's been stuck on the same book for years? A Church

Reading Books Commitment

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Pasta Night Haunting

What does a ghost put on his spooky noodles? All Afraid-o Sauce.

Ghost Pasta Spooky

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Produce Aisle Gossip

Why is the tomato blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing.

Tomato Salad Kitchen

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Second Opinion Denied

Doctor, I have a problem with my left ear. Are you sure? Yes, I am definite!

Doctor Hearing Appointment+1

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