WORK DAD JOKES

72 work dad jokes — enough to last a lifetime of car rides.

All Money Work Wisdom Food Marriage Life Math Animals Aging Time Wife Family Philosophy Relationship Drinking Kids Career Music School Job

Identify Them Immediately

Anyone saying good morning on a Monday is a sociopath.

Monday Morning Work+1

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Math According to Dad

The first five days after the weekend are the hardest.

Weekend Monday Work+1

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The Beautiful Loop

I work to buy a car to go to work.

Work Car Money+2

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Crime of Doing Nothing

I don't understand why people hate lazy people. They didn't do anything.

Lazy Laziness People+2

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Rough Shift Downtown

Today was a terrible day... my ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

Job Work

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The Universal Job Site Rule

Meskimen's Law: "There is never time to do it right, but there is always time to do it over."

Work Mistakes Wisdom

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Tomorrow Sounds Better

A procrastinator's work is never done.

Procrastination Work Lazy+2

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Sunrise Operations Report

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

Morning Work Mistakes+1

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Aluminum Career Advice

Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.

Job Work

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Audit-Proof Effort

Always give 100% at work: 17% Monday, 28% Tuesday, 8% Wednesday, 24% Thursday, 23% Friday

Work Monday Effort+1

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Confidence Is A Speed

When you don't know what you are doing... It's best to do it quickly.

Confidence Work Mistakes+1

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Couch Inventor Theory

Progress is made by lazy men looking for an easier way to do things.

Laziness Work Invention

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Corner Office Material

To err is human. To blame it on somebody else shows management potential.

Management Blame Work+2

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The Real Office Skill

It's not how good your work is, it's how well you explain it.

Work Career Office+2

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Tomorrow Sounds Promising

A procrastinator's work is never done.

Procrastination Work Lazy

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Classified Information Wanted

I wish my wife was one of those secret agents who can't spill a word about their day at work!

Wife Marriage Talking+1

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Time Management Genius

I always arrive late at the office but I make up for it by leaving early.

Office Work Job+2

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Hive Mind Hustle

What do bees do with their honey? They cell it.

Bees Work Pun

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Billable Loitering

I don't work here. I'm a consultant

Work Career Job+1

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Promotion Mechanics

The secret to success is to know who to blame for your failures.

Success Blame Failure+2

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Machine Versus Man

A computer does what you command it to do, but not necessarily what you want it to do.

Computer Technology Programming+1

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Wrong Math, Friend

The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income.

Retirement Money Work+1

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Tell Them The Truth

Why do you want this job? I've just always been very passionate about not starving to death.

Job Work Career+1

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Tuesday Doesn't Care

Your goals don't care if you're sad. Do what must be done.

Motivation Grit Discipline+2

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