Invisible Red
What is red, but invisible? No tomato.
ColorFoodAbsurd+2
BROWSE DAD JOKES
150 jokes and counting β enough to last a lifetime of car rides.
AllWordplaySarcasmRelationshipsFoodIronyPhilosophyLifeAnimalsTechnologyCommunicationMarriageMoneyMotivationDrinksSatireHealthWorkDark HumorLifestyleIntelligence
Electric Shock
People are shocked at how bad I am as an electrician.
WorkIronySelf-Deprecating
Life's Recipe
I always take life with a grain of salt. And a slice of lemon. And a shot of Tequila.
DrinksLifePhilosophy+1
Self-Response
Don't you hate it when someone answers his own questions? I do.
Self-ReferenceIronySarcasm+1
Joyful Insanity
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
InsanitySelf-DeprecatingSatire+1
Invisible Concern
Doctor, an invisible patient is on line one. Tell him I can't see him right now.
HealthWordplayWork
Statistical Drowning
Heard about the statistician who drowned in a river? It was only three feet deep on average.
MathWorkIrony+1
Linux Upgrade
The box said 'Windows 10 or better'. So, I installed Linux.
TechnologySatireLinux
Breakfast Commitment
Ham & Eggs, a day's work for a chicken and a lifetime commitment for a pig.
AnimalsFarmWork+2
Wardrobe Negotiations
My wife is always stealing my T-shirts and sweater⦠but if I take one of her dresses⦠suddenly⦠"we need to talk."
MarriageClothingGender+2
Clean Evidence
A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.
TechnologyLifestyleSatire+1
Stage Fright
People used to laugh when I would say I want to be a comedian. Well, nobody is laughing now!
IronySelf-ReferenceWork+2
Word Theft
I invented a new word: Plagiarism!
InventionWordplayLanguage+2
Fire Starting Challenge
Why does it take one match to start a forest fire? But a whole box to start a camp fire?
IronyFireNature+1
Cocktail Promise
What did the bartender say to his date? Alcohol you later?
DrinksRelationshipsWordplay+1
Chicken Humor
It'll be a minute before I get hard. I just got laid by a chick.
InnuendoAdultPoultry+1
Cooling Refrigeration
I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.
HouseholdFoodFitness+2
Prepaid Doctor
I went to see the doctor about short-term memory problems. The first thing he did was to make me pay in advance.
HealthNostalgiaMoney
Blood Mystery
I was going to donate blood today, but they always ask way too personal questions. Who's blood is this? Where did you get it?
DonationBloodQuestions+2
Pi Precision
Easy to remember, my password is the last 16 digits of the number PI.
MathTechnologyGeek+2
Edible Assignment
Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it's a piece of cake!!
SchoolFoodMisunderstanding+2
Marital Revelation
My wife and I were happy for 25 years⦠and then we met.
MarriageRelationshipsIrony+1
Magic Mut
What do you call a magig dog? A Labracadabrador.
AnimalsDogsWordplay+2
Aged Wisdom
Fight me if you wish but know that I am old for a reason.
AgePhilosophyConflict+1