BROWSE DAD JOKES

904 jokes and counting — enough to last a lifetime of car rides.

All Money Work Wisdom Food Marriage Life Math Animals Aging Time Wife Family Philosophy Relationship Drinking Kids Career Music School Job

Spirits in Recovery

Why did the ghost go to rehab? He was addicted to boos.

Ghost Halloween Spooky

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Olympic Caliber Athlete

My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. It's called lunch.

Exercise Food Fitness

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Reception Caught Fire

Two slices of bread got married. The wedding was amazing, until someone decided to toast the bride and groom.

Wedding Marriage Food

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Ranked and Filed

Poop jokes aren't my favourite kind of joke. But they are a solid #2.

Kids Family Humor

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Skipped by Tourists

Why haven't aliens visited our solar system? They looked at the reviews and we only have one star.

Aliens Space

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Pasture Care Plan

What do you call a home for insane horses? Unstable!

Animals Insanity Farm

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Settled Before Sundown

Are vampires real? Only if you Count Dracula.

Halloween Spooky

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Counting With Interest

Husband: For the last 28 years, all you've done is find mistakes in anything I say. Wife: 29 years...

Marriage Wife Husband+2

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Norse Code

If a Viking is reincarnated... is he Bjorn again?

History

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Dairy Discipline

Producing concentrated milk requires real focus!

Dairy Work

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Grandma Went Long

At 61, Grandma started walking five miles a day to stay fit. Now she is 97! And we have no clue where she is...

Fitness Family Aging

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Bad Idea, Pillow Edition

Huge mistake challenging Death to a pillow fight. I was not prepared for the reaper cushions.

Death Fight Mortality

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Worship Patterns

My teenage son treats me like a god. He acts like I don't exist until he wants something.

Parenting Son Family

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The Wheel Difference

What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.

Bicycle

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Two Centuries On The Hoof

What you call a 200-year old buffalo? A bisontennial.

History Animals

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Convenient Biology

I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.

Sick Weekend Work

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Absolute Zero Drip

What brand of underwear do scientists wear? 'Kelvin Klein' wear.

Fashion Physics

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Extinct Level Stealth

What do you call a dinosaur playing hide and seek?? A Doyouthinkhesaurus.

Dinosaur Hideandseek Kids+2

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Bad Math, Worse Crowd

I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9. The odds were against me.

Numbers Math Fight

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Stakeout In Slippers

Why couldn't the cop get out of bed? He was an undercover cop.

Police Cop Bed+1

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Spotted A Liar

Of all the large predator jungle cats, which one should you trust the least? The cheetah.

Jungle Trust

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Submission Denied

I once submitted puns to a pun contest hoping one to win. Sadly no pun in ten did.

Puns Writing Persistence+1

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Terms And Conditions

How is arguing with a woman like reading a software license agreement? In the end you ignore it all and click 'I agree'.

Marriage Wife Argument

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Diet Plan Compromised

I was on the weight watchers website and it asked me if I accept cookies. Is that a trick question?

Diet Internet

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