BROWSE DAD JOKES

904 jokes and counting — enough to last a lifetime of car rides.

All Money Work Wisdom Food Marriage Life Math Animals Aging Time Wife Family Philosophy Relationship Drinking Kids Career Music School Job

Diploma With Asterisks

Education: What you didn’t even know you didn’t know.

Education School Learning+2

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Bloodline Diagnosis

Insanity is hereditary, you get it from your children.

Insanity Children Family+1

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Recliner Philosophy Hour

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Age Aging Wisdom+2

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Settled By The Manager

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Arguments Ego Family+1

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Qualified On Paper

Vote for me! I know nothing... but I think I know everything. That points clearly to a political career.

Politics Ego Ambition

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From A Safe Distance

Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else!

Humor Comedy Perspective+1

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Found Your Calling

Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.

Work Ambition Laziness

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Paperwork On File

I'm not insane. My mother had me tested.

Insanity Family Relatable+1

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Breakfast With Roget

What do Thesaurus have for breakfast? Synonym rolls!

Breakfast Words Food

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Big Night Hardware Store

I'm at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out...

Aging Relatable

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Survivor Bias Special

Have you noticed that all people in favor of birth control are already born?

Irony Observation Logic+1

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Time Is Plumbing

How long is one minute? It depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

Time Bathroom Perspective+1

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Grammar Is A Contact Sport

I hate it when people don't know the difference between your and you're. There so stupid.

Grammar Spelling English+2

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Reptiles On The Payroll

What do you call a snake that works for the government? Civil Serpent!

Government Job Politics

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Consistency Is A Virtue

I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That's 5 years in a row now.

Gym Exercise Procrastination+2

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Geography Pop Quiz

Can you name a country with no 'R' in it? No way!

Geography Trivia Riddle+1

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A Love Story In Degrees

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Marriage Wife Love+2

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Service With A Subtext

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Restaurant Job Career

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Entrepreneur Of The Year

I tried to start a stationary business. Unfortunately, it just didn't go anywhere.

Business Money Career

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The Other Einstein

Albert Einstein was a genius. But his brother Frank was a monster.

Einstein Science Family

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The Top Number Lies

It's called gross pay because it's disgusting to see how much money you would have made before taxes.

Taxes Money Work+1

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Dressed for the Lineup

Caught by fashion police for his criminal ties!

Fashion Crime Police+1

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Above the Bar

There is a thin line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people understand this.

Math Numbers

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Soft Career Pivot

How would a drummer be paid if he started selling pillows? Per cushion.

Music Job Career

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