BROWSE DAD JOKES

904 jokes and counting — enough to last a lifetime of car rides.

All Money Work Wisdom Food Marriage Life Math Animals Aging Time Wife Family Philosophy Relationship Drinking Kids Career Music School Job

Loophole Energy

Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

Rules Wisdom Mischief+1

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Tethered To Nothing

When the phone was tied with wire, Humans were free

Phone Technology Nostalgia

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Welcome To The Plan

Taxes are basically like paying an annual subscription fee to live in your country while childhood is the free trial.

Taxes Money Childhood+1

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Keep The Lid Down

It's not over until it's over!

Perseverance Patience Motivation+2

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Bars First Priorities Later

Lost hope. Still searching for Wi-Fi.

Internet Hope

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Boneless And Employed

Jellyfish have thrived for 650 million years without a brain. This gives so many people hope.

Brains Hope

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Behind The Curtain

I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.

Truth Philosophy Reality+2

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Same Guy New Mood

I'm changing every day. That's the only thing that's constant! Consistency has never been so unpredictable.

Marriage

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The Tomorrow Tax

The cost of procrastination is the life you could've lived.

Procrastination Time Regret+2

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Take One For The Road

What's a good parting gift? A comb

Gift Goodbye

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Horizontal Enlightenment

The more naps I take, the better I understand the world

Sleep Wisdom Rest+1

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Box Office Booty

What is the new pirates movie rated? Arrrrrrrrrrrrr

Silly

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Confidence Tax

If you're aiming for FAILURE, just pretend you know EVERYTHING!!!

Failure Confidence Ego+2

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Motivational Garage Sale

Nothing is impossible. The word itself says 'I'm possible.'

Motivation Wordplay Life

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Bacon Velocity Problem

Pig without 3.14 is 9.81

Pig Math Physics+2

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Bartender Of The Year

A penguin walks into a bar and asks the bartender: Have you seen my brother? I don't know, what does he look like?

Penguin Bartender Bar+1

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Cake Math

Don't worry about getting older... You're still younger than you'll be next year! Happy Birthday

Birthday Aging Age+1

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Friday Special

I went to the doctor, and he said I'd need to take a pill every day for the rest of my life. But he only gave me 4 pills???

Doctor Health

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Honest Vows

Would you have married me if I didn't inherit a fortune from my father? Honey, I would have married you no matter who left you a fortune.

Marriage Wife Money+1

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Patience Drill

How do you keep an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you later.

Patience Silly

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Six Strings, No Roof

What do you call a musician whose girlfriend has dumped him? Homeless?

Money

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Meter Is Running

Are you a lawyer? Yes! How much do you charge? 100$ 4 questions. Isn't that awfully expensive? Yes! What is your fourth question?

Money Questions Expensive

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Fine Dining, Lawn Edition

What does a man consider a seven-course meal? A hot dog and a six-pack of beer.

Food Beer Men

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Crayon Box Conspiracy

What do you call a color that doesn’t exist? A pigment of your imagination.

Color Imagination Art+1

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