The Non-Swimmer
What kind of fish can't swim? A dead one.
Dark HumorFishAnimals
BROWSE DAD JOKES
150 jokes and counting — enough to last a lifetime of car rides.
AllWordplaySarcasmRelationshipsFoodIronyPhilosophyLifeAnimalsTechnologyCommunicationMarriageMoneyMotivationDrinksSatireHealthWorkDark HumorLifestyleIntelligence
The Gift of Giving (and Receiving More)
My wife set a limit of how much we can spend on each other for Christmas. It's $100 on me and $500 on her.
MarriageChristmasGift+2
The Gender Gap
Men and women were created equal... but women continued to improve.
EqualityGenderImprovement
Shedding Light on the Dark Ages
Why were the Middle Ages called Dark Ages? Because there were too many knights.
HistoryMedievalWordplay
Three Shots to the Floor
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
DrinksBarParty
Infinite Wealth, Limited Spending
I have enough money to last the rest of my life... as long as I don't buy and eat anything.
MoneyFoodIrony
Friendly Nation: The Marijuana Effect
Scientists are concerned the legalization of marijuana may result in an entire nation of overly friendly and polite people.
CultureSocietyHealth
When the Web Fit on a CD
Remember? Those were the days when you could download the Internet in a single CD!
TechnologyNostalgiaProgress
Solving Problems, One Bite at a Time
Remember: You can eat your way out of almost any problem.
FoodProblem-SolvingPhilosophy+1
Skydiving Wisdom: The Parachute Paradox
If your parachute won't open. It's okay. You have the rest of your life to fix it.
AdventurePhilosophyMotivation+1
Buzzing Sales
What do bees do with their honey? They cell it.
WordplayInsectsFood+2
Hyperactive Depression
I just downed an energy drink and I'm still depressed, but now with a lot more enthusiasm.
Mental HealthPhysicsEmotions
The Art of Apathy
Think I'm sarcastic? Watch me pretend to care!
SarcasmAttitudeIndifference
Embracing the Crazy in the Family
My doctor asked if anyone in my family struggles with mental illness. I replied, 'Nope, we all seem to thrive on it!'
FamilyMental HealthHealth+1
Remembering to Forget with Alcohol
If alcohol damages your short term memory... Short term memory. Just imagine what alcohol can do.
DrinksNostalgiaForgetfulness+1
The Secret to Better Tasting Dinners
Every wife should understand one thing: A dinner will taste better if she cooks it less frequently.
FoodRelationshipsMarriage+1
360 Degrees of Change
Ever since I took geometry at school, my life has turned around 360 degrees.
MathSchoolLife+1
A Game Men Can't Win
No man has ever won a game of "Notice anything different about me?"
MenRelationshipsCommunication+2
Marriage vs. Smoking
Marriage and smoking are similar. You start because you want to and you continue because you have to.
MarriageSmokingComparison+1
Financial Planning: A Short-Term View
I have all the money I'll ever need if I die by 4:00 p.m. today
Dark HumorMoneyDeath+1
How to Know If You're Going Crazy
What's a good sign that you're going insane? I'm asking for an imaginary friend?
Mental HealthPsychologyAbsurd+1
Growing Up with Limited Tunes
I grew up so poor we could only listen to Simon or Garfunkel.
MusicChildhoodFamily
The Truth Behind 'It's Fine'
Never trust a woman that says 'It's fine.'
RelationshipsWomenTrust+2
When 5 Out of 6 Scientists Agree
5 out of 6 scientists say Russian roulette is safe.
Dark HumorScienceExaggeration