BROWSE DAD JOKES

904 jokes and counting — enough to last a lifetime of car rides.

All Money Work Wisdom Food Marriage Life Math Animals Aging Time Wife Family Philosophy Relationship Drinking Kids Career Music School Job

Tuition By The Watering Hole

I liked the elephant school, I enjoyed the rhino college, but my favorite was the hippo campus

School Animals Education

🙄0😂0

Bail For The Bookworm

A friend was arrested for stealing a copy of an encyclopedia. He said "I can explain everything!"

Crime Books Friend

🙄0😂0

Nesting Egos

Russian dolls are so full of themselves.

Ego

🙄0😂0

Tip Well Or Else

Heard about the new restaurant called Karma? There's no menu! You get what you deserve.

Restaurant Food

🙄0😂0

Patent Pending On That One

I invented a new word: Plagiarism!

Words Invention Ideas+1

🙄0😂0

Currents Of Conformity

How do you drown a hipster? Throw him in the mainstream.

Coffee

🙄0😂0

Goodbye From The Herd

What did the buffalo say when his son left for College? Bison!

Father Son Family

🙄0😂0

Math Class Compliments

What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt!

Math Numbers Zero

🙄0😂0

Marsupial Snub

Why aren't koalas actual bears? They don't meet all the koalafications.

Animals Job

🙄0😂0

Bumpy Confession

I have a fear of speed bumps… But, I'm slowly getting over it.

Fear Phobia Driving+2

🙄0😂0

Calendar Mischief

Can February march? No, but April may!

Calendar Time

🙄0😂0

Riddle From The Counter

What starts with 'E', ends with 'E' and has only one letter? Envelope!

Riddle Alphabet

🙄0😂0

Snack At Mach One

What is fast, loud, crunchy? A rocket Chip!

Food

🙄0😂0

Outsourced The Groans

AI Bad Joke Factory, finally a way to blame robots for bad jokes!

Jokes Technology Blame

🙄0😂0

Bendy Disbelief

I'm sceptical of anyone who tells me they do yoga every day, that's a bit of a stretch.

Exercise Fitness Skepticism

🙄0😂0

Office Supply Slander

Blunt pencils are really pointless.

Office Work

🙄0😂0

Solo Inventor Problem

What was a more useful invention than the first telephone? The second telephone.

Invention Communication History+1

🙄0😂0

Alphabet Botany

Why is the letter 'A' like a flower? Because a 'B' comes after it!

Alphabet Letters School+1

🙄0😂0

Pickup Lines, Country Edition

How do you win the heart of a female farmer? Attract her!

Farm Dating Romance+1

🙄0😂0

Physics At The Treeline

Why does it take one match to start a forest fire? But a whole box to start a camp fire?

Irony

🙄0😂0

Closing Tab Speech

What did the bartender say to his date? Alcohol you later!

Bartender Dating Bar+2

🙄0😂0

Jungle Tier Membership

What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account? Prime mates.

Shopping Relationship

🙄0😂0

A Real Spin Operation

Did you hear about the criminal who only steals wheels from police cars? The cops are tirelessly trying to catch him.

Police Cop Crime

🙄0😂0

Bird Took Me Down

It'll be a minute before I get hard. I just got laid by a chick.

Birds Yard Outdoors

🙄0😂0