BROWSE DAD JOKES

904 jokes and counting — enough to last a lifetime of car rides.

All Money Work Wisdom Food Marriage Life Math Animals Aging Time Wife Family Philosophy Relationship Drinking Kids Career Music School Job

Manual Required, IQ Optional

Linux is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand its simplicity.

Linux Computers Tech+1

🙄0😂0

Numbers Doing Numbers

Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make 75% of the world's population.

Math Statistics Numbers

🙄0😂0

Plot Twist In The Kitchen

I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.

Fridge Weight

🙄0😂0

Snowflake In Bulk

Always remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.

Life Advice Motivation

🙄0😂0

Math Tutor in Fur

I asked my dog what's two minus two, he said nothing.

Dog Math Pet

🙄0😂0

Already Bombed Tomorrow

I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it.

Time Future Past+1

🙄0😂0

Office Visit, Cash Up Front

I went to see the doctor about short-term memory problems. The first thing he did was to make me pay in advance.

Doctor Memory Money

🙄0😂0

Selectively Remembered

The best thing about good old days is that we were neither good nor old.

Nostalgia Memory Aging+2

🙄0😂0

Civic Duty Postponed

I was going to donate blood today, but they always ask way too personal questions. Who's blood is this? Where did you get it?

Questions

🙄0😂0

Bunny Walks Into Setup

A priest, an imam and a rabbit walk into a blood bank. The rabbit says: I think I might be a Type-O.

Typo

🙄0😂0

Secure As A Screen Door

Easy to remember, my password is the last 16 digits of the number PI.

Password Pi Math+2

🙄0😂0

Wall Decor In Peril

I'm afraid for the calendar! Its days are numbered.

Calendar Time Kitchen+1

🙄0😂0

Architectural Rendezvous

What did one wall say to the other? I'll meet you at the corner.

Marriage Punctuality

🙄0😂0

Aquatic Vowel Shortage

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A FSH!

Fish Spelling Ocean+1

🙄0😂0

Salt of the Sea

What type of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms? 2Na

Chemistry Fish Science

🙄0😂0

Black Belt Bacon

What should you call a pig who knows karate? A pork chop!

Pig Animals Food

🙄0😂0

Tropical Disguise

What is brown, hairy, and wears sunglasses? A coconut on vacation!

Vacation Fruit

🙄0😂0

Following Instructions

Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it's a piece of cake!!

School Food

🙄0😂0

Lone Wolf Loses Again

A place crashed in the jungle and every single person died. Who survived? Married couples.

Marriage Relationships

🙄0😂0

Hooked on Phonics

What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? It's the spelling bee.

Parrot Spelling Animals+1

🙄0😂0

Weight Class Differences

What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy and the other? A little lighter!

Animals Wordplay

🙄0😂0

Plugged In And Proud

What music do you like? I'm a huge metal fan!

Music Garage

🙄0😂0

Strategic Redundancy

The only reason I have a home phone is so I can find my cell phone.

Phone Technology Relatable

🙄0😂0

Diagnosing The Family

Can you die from constipation? I'm a little worried about how full of shit you are…

Insult Family Health+1

🙄0😂0