BROWSE DAD JOKES

904 jokes and counting — enough to last a lifetime of car rides.

All Money Work Wisdom Food Marriage Life Math Animals Aging Time Wife Family Philosophy Relationship Drinking Kids Career Music School Job

Smooth Operator Hour

What is a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?

Romance Mind

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Term Paper Loophole

To steal ideas from one is plagiarism. To steal ideas from many is research.

Ideas School

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Logical Conclusion Reached

A bus station is where bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a workstation…

Logic Language Office

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Read The Room

Don't think of me as a boss, think of me as a friend who can fire you.

Boss Work Job+2

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Tropical Waiting Room

The banana went to see the doctor because she was not peeling well.

Doctor Fruit Health+1

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Patent Pending Genius

What invention allows to see though walls? Windows!

Windows Invention House+1

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Cornering A Mollusk

Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of its shell? He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.

Speed Animals

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Calendar Misread Tragedy

Guess what? It's hearing awareness month. Wow earring awareness month, time to shop!

Hearing Awareness Shopping+1

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Diagnosis Before Noon

A yawn is just a silent scream for a coffee!

Coffee Tired Morning+1

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Driving Range Confessional

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Sports Retirement

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Sorry, Beep Beep

What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes? A re-morse code.

Apology Communication

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Anonymous in Aprons

What do you call an unknown baker? John DOUGH.

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Eyes On The Numbers

Why do a lot of math nerds wear glasses. It helps for division.

Math Glasses School

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Same Pose, More Credit

You should try meditation. It's at least better than sitting and doing nothing?

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Two For The Price

What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care.

Attitude Life

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Punctual Pest

What kind of bug tells time? A clock Roach

Clock Time

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Heavy Handles

Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.

Absurd

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The Last Sentence

A conclusion is the part where I got tired of thinking…

Thinking Tired Philosophy+1

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Beep Boop Cluck

Why did the robot chicken cross the road? He was programmed to!

Chicken Road Tech

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Smart Phone, Dumb User

What's the opposite of Artificial Intelligence? Natural stupidity.

Intelligence Technology

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Spore Decisions

How much room should you give a fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible!

Mushroom Fungi Garden+2

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Overboard Education

Why couldn't the bad sailor learn the alphabet. Because he always got lost at 'C'.

Alphabet Ocean

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Toga Math

When is 'L' greater than 'XL'? In ancient Rome.

Numbers History Math

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Checkmate, Extinct

Why can't dinosaurs play chess? Cuz… they're all dead?

Dinosaurs Prehistoric Games

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